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The PGA Tour Needs A New Villain

In light of recent antics from everyone’s favorite golfer Patrick Reed and his decision to formally attack Rory McIlroy on camera. Trigger warning. The video is a little gruesome. It is time for me to revisit a subject that is near and dear to my heart.

The PGA Tour needs a new villain. LIV golf took a lot from us, but most of all what they took, are the golfers that we could join forces and hate together! No more do we get the weekly run ins with Sergio Garcia, Bryson Dechambeau (Rope Attack Survivor), Patrick Reed (cheater), Jason Kokrak, and Phil Mickelson (Saudi Prince). These are guys that you can look across the bar at a total stranger and say “man I hate ____” any of those names. And you are likely to leave with not only a new acquaintancem but likely, a new friend, maybe even a free beer. It’s due to this lack of not having many hated players currently on the PGA tour that I believe a new villain needs to be crowned. Here are my four suggestions:


1. Patrick Cantlay

A variety of reasons come to mind immediately in my reasoning for Patrick Cantlay being the Tour’s newest villain. The first being his face. Extremely punchable mug on Cantlay, definitely a guy I would hate to lose to. Another reason is that he is sponsored by Hugo Boss. Some seriously ugly apparell he’s willing to wear out there. I mean, Patrick looks like the guy that dates your sister and calls you “buddy” one too many times at a family dinner. Lastly, he has that silent killer vibe that lots of villains do. He really does make a solid villain. (Other than the fact he seems genuinely nice, but we can work around that)

2. Brian Harman

Imagine being on the course and this little lefty is birdieing every other hole. I’ve eaten candy bars bigger than Brian Harman. He probable hits the ball farther than me too. The mental warfare with this guy would be insane and I think I might legitametly break down on the course in embarrasment while losing. Villain.

3. Keegan Bradley

Keegan reminds me of the kid that always comes to golf tryouts with the newest clubs even though he stunk. Furthermore, he didn’t get the newest clubs because his dad just wanted to be nice, it’s because Keegan over here begged to get them. He absolutely needed them or the other guys on the team wouldn’t take him seriously. The only problem I can possibly see with this argument is that Keegan is actually very good at golf. The point I am trying to make is I can definitely see him being kind of stuck up. Country club kid. Villain.

4. Corey Conners

Last but not least, I have to make a case for the only Canadian I dislike. Corey had me for a little bit. I would bet on him frequently in tournaments, as he really is a good golfer. The problem with Corey is that he becomes the shittiest golfer at the worst times. He will have you all ready to win money and then he’ll put on his Oakley sunglasses while its cloudy and get a 9 on the 18th handicap par 3. The dude is a menace to society. Even though he is Canadian he is still a… Villain.


These are our current candidates. Excited to move forward with one or two of these gentlemen and find someone to hate even half as much as Sergio or Bryson. It will be an uphill battle. Just hope there aren’t any gallery ropes along the way.

P.S. Find me a player with a better record against ropes than Bryson. Can’t be done.

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